Perfect Storm
by T-oftheSand
Summary: And she felt the wall that she had built to keep her emotions at bay beginning to crack, as if it were a weakened dam being threatened by an impending storm. She felt as if the water had already begun to sweep over her, filling her lungs and keeping her from breathing. She couldn't focus; she couldn't get him off her mind.


PERFECT STORM

I have edited this quite a few times now, and now I'm extremely happy with it...

I do not own Naruto.

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Temari had never been one to acknowledge emotion.

She was a hardened and seasoned kunoichi, greatly skilled, from a respected village and of intimidating lineage. For people like her, emotions were not even considered. They were of a separate world; foreign, distant, extraterrestrial.

Amongst ninja, this is universally accepted. You were expected to be cold, blank…emotionless. It was taught from an early age that family and friendly ties meant nothing, and emotions - if allowed in - affected performance, and missions were failed.

As far as this life was concerned, you were not human - you were a machine, a disposable tool.

It was part of the deal, and Temari understood this; it was simply life. She didn't cry when her father died, and felt nothing when she returned home without his presence. However, there was a certain presence within her now that was becoming more and more common, and it was something rather...unexpected. That lazy bastard that she had first encountered during the Chunin exams four years ago, Shikamaru Nara, had been on her mind more than she liked.

Or rather, _far_ more than she liked.

At the very thought, she shuddered with anger.

She couldn't fully comprehend what was going on, but she felt the wall that she had built to keep her emotions at bay beginning to crack, as if it were a weakened dam being threatened by an impending storm. She felt as if the water had already begun to sweep over her, filling her lungs and keeping her from breathing. She couldn't focus; she couldn't get him off her mind.

And oh, how she_ hated _him. It was confusing; she didn't understand how she could hate someone so much but still like them enough to have them on her mind so frequently. Not that she would actually have chosen to have him on her mind if she could have…for once in her life, she was experiencing something within her mind that she couldn't control. She desperately wanted to be able to, but_ god damn it she could not shove him out_.

As much as she hated to admit it, she didn't seem to have a choice in the matter.

She clenched her fists in anger, feeling her heart pounding angrily within her chest. This was a bizarre, unrelenting force that wouldn't subside, like some strange genjutsu that she had never seen before. _Yes_, she thought. _This has to be bullshit. It _has _to be. I am not someone to be this heavily influenced by some stupid asshole like _him…_or anyone._

_...Especially not him. _Anyone_ but him._

Then it happened again, and she wanted to scream. Her heart and stomach fluttered at the very thought of him, and she could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. _I am strong_, she thought._ I am a kunoichi of Sunagakure, the daughter of the fourth Kazekage. I do not lose._

Her thoughts slowed and she paused momentarily when she realized that for once she _was_ losing, and to make matters worse, the opponent that she was losing to was none other than her emotions…something that wasn't even supposed to be involved.

And therefore, by extension, she was in fact essentially losing to _him_.

She was enraged when she realized that, coincidentally, the one other loss - the only loss - that she had experienced prior was also to none other but _him_.

And how she still so desperately hated him. She tried telling herself that the hate was stronger than whatever else it was that she was feeling, but when she was honest she realized that at the very least she could hardly even distinguish the difference between the two. She felt the storm coming nearer, stirring her insides up. Her heart had not slowed, and she continued to feel the blood pounding in her head. She held her head in her hands, trembling from the frustration and rage. _I have to calm down_, she thought. _This is completely unacceptable…it's unbecoming. You'd think that I had never received any training…_

But still, he wouldn't leave. His irritating, cocky little smirk that she _hated_ so much wouldn't get out of her mind. It was branded into her brain, its image consuming her, continuing to give her these _disgusting_ fluttering feelings. _I hate him. I hate him. I _hate_ him… _She was breathing hard now, somewhat panicking, finally realizing that no matter what she did or what she said to herself to try to convince herself otherwise, her feelings weren't going to subside.

Truthfully, as much as she hated to admit it to herself, it wasn't _him_ that she hated, but her feelings for him.

She didn't hate him. At all.

She had to stop kidding herself. She _could_ comprehend this situation...she knew what was going on here. She was intelligent...this wasn't something she didn't understand. It slowly dawned on her as the storm came over her, washing her out. She felt so small, completely overwhelmed by what was going on inside of her. This was completely out of character for her, but despite all of its strangeness and unfamiliarity, she knew why it was happening to her. She had been told that in the face of things like this, what is expected crumbles. And it had just proved to be true, because as this was happening to her, she wasn't _Temari. _

She had just always told herself that this was the kind of thing that happened to _other_ people.

And for once, she was scared. What frightened her the most was this wasn't something she could make go away - she couldn't blow it away with her fan, and this wasn't an enemy that she could simply kill, move on from, and forget about, as shinobi do. In the face of this, she was powerless. She couldn't even see it - it had no physical form - but this was the strongest enemy that she had ever been up against. Everything she was known for - her power, ruthlessness and all of her pride - had been swallowed up by nothing other than _emotion_.

She didn't like it one bit.

_Oh my god, what have you done to me?_

She realized then that the lesson that was taught to her and all of her peers as children idealized qualities that were, quite frankly, unattainable. It was simply a lesson taught...and a lesson seldom obeyed. After seeing that even her, Temari of the Sand – the toughest and most highly skilled wind user of the Allied Forces – had ultimately surrendered, she learned that, even if they did exist, not even those perfect ideals could calm a perfect storm.

And for the second time, Temari had lost to him.

...

END

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I feel like my previous piece was better, but I do like this. However it definitely could be improved on and I may try to, I just don't know how I will yet.


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